Chas Baker, my uncle, died on 20 February 2007. After his death Susan found a letter written by my mother, his sister, that amazingly he had saved all those years. Remember while reading that this was written to an 18 year old boy!
Bright Meadows
Nov. 19, 1947
Dear Chas,
Mother has told you, but we are so happy and so thrilled that I wanted to write anyway and repeat it.
Mother just looked and looked at Dereka and I was pleased that she took time and did not rush over her. All wonderful things-- beautiful things-- need time and silence to appreciate. She is actually very beautiful. I suppose it is no surprising for Marshall is a handsome man, especially without his glasses. He has very beautiful features.
We had a good birth. You knew, tho perhaps only vaguely, that we had many "ideas" about families and babies and pregnancy and childbearing. It seems often to be a very trying time-- we felt this to be mostly because of attitudes. So it was our family that was pregnant, not just the female element all by herself to "bear it". What a difference. It became a thrilling thing. If you watch you can see a baby kicking and moving, even thru clothes. It became exciting for both of us-- not something for me to "stand". Etc. etc. Marshall saw to it that I "hit the sack" right after lunch each day. He made it pleasant by his attitude and easy to relax by his back rubs which became practically daily osteopathic treatments. This element was one of the most essential as you know from Grantly Dick Read's theories in "Childbirth Without Fear". In the second stage of labor at the difficult time I heard them say "Isn't she wonderful. This is the time when they usually fight us; they don't like us very much right now. But isn't she wonderful. See how she relaxes". I was amazed that I actually could. Because I had the feeling that certainly I hadn't planned to have the baby that night, that really I just couldn't be actually having it, yet here I was in the throes of some terrific contractions the like of which I had never experienced-- and I was able to relax. There was no tear in spite of the fact that tearing has become so common that is is routine now in the hospitals to cut the perineal tissue before the birth because a cut is cleaner than a tear. There was no anesthetic of any kind and scarcely any bleeding. We are quite blown up over the whole thing!!
Having Marshall's arms to hang onto was wonderful. It seems as tho I would have died if he couln't have been with me, yet most husbands are not, of course. It seemed incredible to both of us that we could actually be having a baby-- yet suddenly, wham! there she was and the shock was so great that Marshall was quite stunned and began weeping. I felt immediately perfectly alright (no stomach any more!) but could do nothing but hang on to Marshall just crying his name over and over. It was too wonderful to believe. Life is a great miracle. Why must anyone worry about wine changed into water when there are real miracles like birth and growing things. Marshall is now chief engineer. He is an excellent cook. I am getting new ideas from him and he is the first man I have seen who is not frightened by a tiny baby. He throws her around in the most amazing way and shouts in her ear and she loves it. When the district nurse comes she treats her like any baby and bundles her all up 'till she looks lie a mummy and Dereka has the expression of "I am just any baby in a nursery..." But Marshall treats her like a person and she becomes one. "Hey kid, that was a (?) kid. Now you know that's possible because gasses are soluble in water and Co2...etc. etc." "Hey what's your beef, kid? Well cherubini did you just want to get out of the sack for a little. A kid can't spend all her time in the sack, she has to have a little fun." "Boy you sure did mictulate([sic] cherubini, you sure did mictulate. How about a smizzy?" (Marshall's word for kiss) She absolutely adores him and so do I.
Love, Lois
It is pretty lucky to find a letter describing one's own birth, and especially to find it 59 years later. I know that life did not remain quite so idyllic for my parents but they went on to have four more children and I know that they still loved each other passionately when she died of cancer in 1971.
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